Friday, April 3, 2009

Update

Went to the hospital today. The nurse said when he is awake he can do some simple instructions. Rise your finger, blink, wiggle your toes. They have him on a vent and trachea tube. A Peg tube for feeding. She seems very hopeful. He was under sedation every time I visit. I guess that is where I would not kill him for doing this. I mean if you want attention... there are other ways to get it. Right? His mother is a basket case, but one would expect that. the cousin that is helping his mom is trying her best to cope. Here is where I get to be the strong one. That is almost a hopeless cause, except when I go into Nursing mode. today I started cleaning him up and some suctioning his mouth to get extra mucus out. Whashed his face, etc. I think you get the picture. Here come the question, "Why did I pick Nursing as a career?". I do mean to sound harsh, but trying to take care of a loved one is hard. I do love my job and love my loved ones, but just like drinking and driving , they do not mix. I am very tired, not sleeping well. I now have bad to really bad dreams when I sleep. then I am awake for several hours before I can go back to sleep.


Again thank you everyone for your support during this time.
Hugs
Ray

11 comments:

T.E.W. said...

I want you to know that I am here for you, let me know if I can do anything to ease your grief!

Anonymous said...

I'm just at the entry level courses on life and love, and just learning to tell the differences between love and lust.

When you love someone, especially when you have a long-term relationship like you had with Jon, you give the other person a piece of real estate in your heart. Sometimes, for various reasons, one or the other vacates that piece of real estate, that corner of your heart where they once lived. But that doesn't mean you take back the deed, or give them back the deed to the part of their heart that you occupied.

If you're very, very lucky, from time to time in the passing years you get to revisit that special relationship in times of happiness, or in this case, in times of need, sickness, and adversity.

That you have been able to put aside the causes of how you two split up to me simply shows the strength of your character and the openness of your heart.

In German, there's a word you should know... menschlichkeit. Literally translated it means manliness. But it has so many deeper meanings... doing the right thing... taking responsibility even when it's not your responsibility to to so... being stong... giving support... being a man.

I salute you. I hope, on the day I am called to menschlichkeit, I can follow your example.

Hugs, and lots of lovin's,
Josh

Anonymous said...

Ray,

I'm so sorry to hear about your ex. Just hang in there. Things WILL get better. My mom was a surgical nurse and when she was in the hospital with cancer, she was the worst patient you can imagine! My prayers are with you guys.

Hugz,
Doug in Atlanta

Anonymous said...

Ray,

Hey bud! You continue to be in my prayers. You went into nursing because that was your calling. It may not make it easy for you know but you may be able to understand things more. I wish I could be there to offer a shoulder to rest your head on a while.

Just recently I met a lady who came to visit our little village after a nervous breakdown. Well since she came down she contracted Bels Palsy and it has messed with her face. I'm beginning to think it was fate we met. When she told me what happen I said what a better place to get sick. She is from freezing parts of Canada. In short for some reason she likes my sense of humor and is laughing a lot. A bit of recovery in the face two. So, I guess what I want to say to you here even in this trying time find something to laugh about it will relieve some of the stress. God be with you and your family.

Bill


PS Guillermo is spanish for William and Vaquero is Cowboy. Hope you got a giggle out of that.

Ray's Cowboy said...

thanks everyone.
Ray

Anonymous said...

As a nurse I do not feel we pick nursing as much as it picks us, It takes a special soul to be a good nurse. I know that caring for a loved one is difficult, but the key word there is love. Hang in there and you are in my prayers.
Your Friend,
Carl

X said...

Let me sign under everything Josh said. You do set an example for me to follow. My support and all the best energy of this world sent your way. Stay strong, Ray.

Ruffy said...

We do the things we want to do regardless of the situation. When it comes down to it, nurse or not, you would do what you feel is right. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I have no doubts he knows you are there. Remember if you need anything, I'm here.
Many Ruffy Hugs!

mikr and glenn studio city said...

Ray, you have had a tough week. when things settle down we hope to get to know you better. I am a blogger virgin, boy I have not used that word on myself in a long time. Anyway, I dont know any other way to contact you. We would love to send you pictures of our garden, ourselves, etc. nuff said for now. Mike and Glenn

Joe Z said...

Be strong Ray, make sure you get enough rest, don't make your self sick. I sounds like he getting better, so hang in there and have positive thoughts.
Your friend
Joez

Ultra Dave said...

I wish the best for both you and your friend. My strength is your strength.